My mom converted from Catholicism to Judaism before I was born. However, I thought the soul given of a convert to Judaism is inferior to that of a born-Jew (from heaven, albeit inferior)? Would that make her child have the inferior soul?
Another thing, the conversion was done in a reform (not progressive) synagogue--with a more conservative Rabbi--however, I heard that a reform conversion is not the same as a conservative/orthodox one so I don't know if the same rules apply or it is even valid.
To add to that, if the conversion is done against the individuals wishes/heart (she has "converted herself" back to Catholicism presently, years after) does that void the contract between Hashem and the prospective convert?
Here's the catch, my maternal great great grand parents were both Jewish by birth (their parents were not converts etc). They had two daughters which they raised Catholic. One married a Catholic man while the other married a Jewish (not convert) man, still being careful to raise the children Catholic. My grandmother descends from the latter, although marrying a Catholic man and repeating the same aforementioned process (Tbh, a lot of Catholics were Jewish converts). My father is full line no converts, so I'm not worried about that.
What I need to know, is if I really have a Jewish soul. This is something that will affect everything esp. my marriage and how I live (what laws I live by). I have felt it before (anyone that has it knows the feeling), although I feel I have disgraced God in one way or another and He has severed his ties with me for now. I never got my Bar-Mitzvah, never learned Hebrew; I feel obligated to do so and learn as much I can about Judaism. So how will I know? I know I can't tell today, maybe in time. Any insight from a Jewish soul will not go forgotten.
Nadine and Michelle I thank you wholeheartedly for your responses. On a personal note Michelle, I think you understand almost completely, if not completely, exactly what I was trying to say. God bless you.